381; Break up November

It's break up November. Sucks how people who i thought were so perfect for each other just let their pride, friends, life take over the ones they love, the ones should be worst without.

380;

Yes, you still miss the look they gave you when you walked through the door. Yes, you still miss the way they knew just to make you smile in the darkest moments. Yes, you still miss the way they made you laugh like you couldn’t stop. Yes, you miss the way it felt when they touched you softly and then tightly like they’d never let go.


But they did let go.

379;

"Loneliness was an emotional emptiness. A void that couldn’t be filled with people but yet having people always around made me feel lonely, like my own personal well being was lost in the voices of everyone around me."

378;

"It's just as crushing and just as thrilling. No matter what happens in this situation, I want you to remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you think you'll ever have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you'll find someone who loves you in that exact same way."

377; Extraordinary love.

"As for an extraordinary love? It is unusual, rare, and highly coveted. Finding it is only the first step, and maintaining it will require a lifetime of equally extraordinary sacrifice and selflessness. When you’re meant to be with someone, you’re willing to do the unprecedented for that person. Their well-being comes before your own. Their tears make your eyes heavy. Their laughter is a medicine for even your deepest of wounds. And yet, this level of interconnectedness is not a sign of co-dependence. Rather, it is a source of strength. Furthermore, taking the time to learn about your lover and their ambitions, dreams, fears, and interests should not feel like work. It should feel like an unfolding revelation. That’s extraordinary love: a revelation of the highest order. And you cannot be afraid of what is revealed, otherwise the love will fail. You either embrace this revelation fully or you lose everything."


http://thoughtcatalog.com/mekita-rivas/2014/07/on-extraordinary-love/

376;

Sometimes I just dont think you understand what's its like to be annoyed. Yes I'm unhappy, and yes, of course I'm glad to see you, but that does not mean my mood will automatically become a super happy one. It will take some time.

With that said, I just really dislike it when you're using your phone when you're out with me. It's like telling me that you're bored with me. Otherwise, there's something out there more important than me. When someone dedicates their time to you, appreciate it.

I'm not even saying that you can't use your phone at all. But you use it so often, more often than not on those friends who wouldn't even bother whether you're in school or not. I hate it when you use your phone, so in return, I dont use my phone at all. Isit so difficult to just get your full attention?

375; Love hurts and heals.

Those we love hold the key to our heart and, because of this, they are the ones capable of breaking it, too. A stranger cannot hurt us because they have not been granted access to that sacred place in which we are soft and fragile. Inversely, those who love us are also the ones who can help us heal when we lay broken. Loved ones can cause a pain so great it brings us down mid-flight, leaving us feeling as if we have been stripped of our wings (which is literally what Stefan did to Maleficent), but they can also soothe us in such a manner that they restore our ability to fly and truly lift us up to the place where we belong (Aurora’s role in Maleficent’s life). Likewise, great is the power we hold over those who love us and who have entrusted us with their hearts. With great power comes great responsibility; we need to use it wisely.

374;

Did I ever told you I still get butterflies when I see you every damn day??

Though its only been about 11 months since we met and 7 months we've dated for, I still can't get over you, your cute expressions and handsome face that I love a lot, eventhough it doesn't appeal to many people...

But yeah, i just fall for you more and more each day. Funny how I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see you, but I like this way. 

373;

Honesly, i think ALL men should read this. It's a pretty long article but it isn't boring

http://realnewspaper.wordpress.com/2014/04/03/beautiful-women-never-asked-on-a-real-date/.

372; Sad Beautiful Tragic

"Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, the train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, and for the life of us we can't get back"

so many "you used to..." running through my mind, but at the end of the day,

you don't even seem proud to have me. 

371;

"Pain, make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart, will start a riot in me
Let's start, start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh, why do we lie to hurt so much?
That's what you get
When you let your heart win, whoa"

I always hurt you with my actions, and you hurt me with your words. I wonder which is worse...

The fact that yknow I hurt you and you realise how an eye for an eye is wicked...

Idk how you're withstanding this but I'm definitely not doing very well.

Haven't been drinking water because it tastes so bad here in Thailand, and with the amount of headache I'm getting in a day, it's going to eat my head up alive.

I hope youre doing well without me.

370; Brick by Boring Brick

"Loving someone who has walls up is not a careless decision. It takes a conscious commitment to assign yourself as the one to take the first strike at the concrete surrounding their heart. These are people who have painted over their fragile skin with instant-ready cement, blocking out the feel of fingerprints and the echo of empty promises. They tell themselves that all the little nuances that make them secret romantics have to stay hidden away.

But despite it all — despite the walls and the “do not enter” sign they hang around their neck — you might just fall for them. And in some miracle of ways, they might fall for you, too.

For them, loving you will be like walking into a construction zone: messy and just a little bit dangerous.

But it all will come with the promise of tearing down old walls to make room for something open and stable. They won’t promise that they’ll be able to hit some magic switch and all of a sudden, they’ll act differently than they always have. To say so would be a lie, and both of you know it. It’s going to take some time. Walls are a stubborn sort of architecture, and they won’t come down without a fight. Just know that the first few nights you spend together, they really will want to cuddle up close to you and burrow themselves in your arms. They’ll want to, more than anything. But they also won’t want to seem needy. They’ll sleep with their backs to you, and they’ll pray that you’ll be more courageous than they are. They’ll sleep with crossed fingers and an anxious heartbeat, hoping that eventually you’ll pull them back to you and you’ll show them that it’s okay to be endearing.

They are going to shut down. All people do, at some point or another. But for the ones who have gotten used to a life of distance, the first sharp bite of unpleasant reality is going to sting the most. During your first fight, they probably won’t say a word. They probably won’t even look at you. But they’ll come around, eventually. And they will apologize for being so distant and stubborn.

They will try not to punish you for their past, and at first, they likely will fail. As hard as this unplaced punishment may seem, try not to lose your temper. If they’ve let you know that they’re making the attempts to work with you, instead of against you like they have most others, you’re on your way. All love requires work. You may be paying for someone else’s mistakes at the moment. And it may be inherently hard. But if you’re fighting together, you’ll soon reap the rewards of someone who has ventured farther into their heart than anyone else dared. A little patience goes so far.

At the heart of it all, if a person with walls has decided they love you, they mean it. To have walls means to block yourself out, and when love nestles itself in the basement of your heart, it becomes a permanent resident banging on walls and demanding to be tended to. So although at times it may seem this fight is a one sided battle, do not forget that just because you cannot see the war raging on does not mean it doesn’t exist.

If you’re smart, you know a good thing when you see one. And this person with the walls seemingly unbreakable just might be the best thing you’ll have seen in a long, long time. So when the break down and the fight seem too much, remember what you’re fighting for. Remember than underneath the layers of doubt and distance is a person with a heart that could have been molded just for you. Loving someone with walls is never easy. But sometimes, if you’re lucky, the fight is more than worth it."

http://thoughtcatalog.com/isabel-hershko/2014/03/this-is-what-happens-when-you-love-someone-who-has-built-up-walls/

369;

Yeah you can say that you can stay away from your boyfriend and not meet him as much, is this why you've been clinging on to my boyfriend because you seem closer to him now?? Sometimes people like you need to learn how to back off. If my boyfriend is the one that's initiating the talk with you all the time, i assure you, it's either he'll stop doing so or we'll break up like you've always wanted.

368; DAYRE

So recently i've given in to using Dayre. Everything feels better when i can just select the app as and when i feel like from my phone and splurge whatever that's clouding my mind. The latest post is about jealousy, and yes, i dedicate every post to my boyfriend. I think he hasn't come to know about my account yet and therefore i would write things that i want to say but would not be appropriate if i said it to him in his face, hence this account:

367;

When we were eighteen,
we fell in love,
liked each other,
cried,
ran away,
knelt down,
and turned our backs at each other countless of times.

Nevertheless when we were eighteen,
we ran into each other's arms,
held each other's hands,
and held each other tightly against each other.

We may fall again,
and we may get on our knees.
However, one thing's certain,
No matter what;
Go for it.

- The Heirs

366;

It's like i can't tweet anymore because whenever i tweet, my boyfriend would pretty much question me everything about it. Well half the time i get really upset and overthink all by myself, so i practically retweet whatever suits my mood at the point in time. My boyfriend just has to get in the way. I like keeping things to myself. If i don't want to talk about it, don't force me. You'd either get replies that are opposite of what i mean, or you'd get pissed off trying to find out i'm actually thinking(this is the category my bf falls into). The thing is, it's not that idw to tell you anything, nor brcause i'm uncomfortable in telling you my thoughts, i just don't like the idea of doing so. Maybe this is why i still keep a blog after 6 years.

If you come across this post, it's just a little something you might know about me. Remember, i may be a really cheerful person, i can be really talkative sometimes, but that's just one side of me.

365;

Sometimes all i ever wished was to be the last person you'd think of before you sleep, the first person you think of when you wake up. Isit so hard to wish me goodnight before you put me to sleep, and assure me that you'd think of me when you fall asleep by saying another goodnight right before you sleep? Isit so hard to just send me a text in the morning after washing up your face? Maybe i'm asking too much, but i just wished that would be the kind of reassurance you'd give me.

364;

Can't see us going through life together in the long run. It seems like we won't last. God prove me wrong. :(

363;

What's the point of having someone else, and keep a look out for them, when i can't even take care of myself?

362;

So tired of getting jealous all the fucking time. maybe going back to being single would be better.

361; Lately i've been, i've been losing sleep

What do you do when your boyfriend has a female friend that has became his 'bestfriend' in a span of 4 months?? What do i do, when i can fall in love with a guy in 4 months?? I'm not saying that bestfriends are invalid. I just think that Friendships and Relationships are completely different issues.

So you have a girlfriend, and you have a bestfriend too. What if your girlfriend is not going to accept the fact that that female friend is your bestfriend??

Like seriously, my bestfriends have been with me for almost 9 years, they know everything about me. We dont argue at all, just a little upset at each other sometimes but it's no big deal, everything will always be fine because we understand each other. 

How about a pair of bestfriends that became bestfriends in just 4 months and always argue. The female has a bf, the male has a gf. But once the male goes on Whatsapp to reply his gf messages without reply his bestfriend, she gets mad at him. Then he ends up replying to his "bestfriend's" messages instead of his girlfriend's.

And then she's just so fucking obsessive over someone else's boyfriend.

Like seriously. 

360; I thought i would be happy by now

So i've been through so much shit with my mum about a month ago and nothing's been going smooth at all.

Just because she doesn't like how Aaron looks like, she judges him like... i'm speechless. Just because my dad was my mum's first and only, then he cheated on her during her pregnancy, that does not mean Aaron's like that too. My mum is so into trusting her own "sixth-sense" as she calls it, that she doesn't even want to know about him at all. She threatened that if i want to be together with him, she'd severe ties with me...

But we are already together.

So then she said i treated this house like a hotel. She reprimanded that i come home at 9pm everyday and yet i still go out on Weekends. Well since 9pm is my curfew, why not go out till time's up right?? She said that i am schooling yet i leave home in the morning before her and come home after her. The truth is, my school begins earlier so DUH. and more than 90% of the time when im home before or at 9pm, i'd be alone.

Only once in a while, my mum would give me a hundred bucks and expect me to live on it. It's not even sufficient for a week, since concession pass alone costs $45, and i gotta settle all 3 meals myself. I work during the weekends, so what's the issue??

Life really sucks so bad.