334; Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.

Now that O Level is officially over, it's like a whole load of burden carried off my chest. So I have decided to finally publish this post because I was thinking so much for the past month, and have decided to blog about it today. How 4 years just flew by, how I even managed to pull through the stressful O level period, and how about anything I could possibly wonder about.


For the record,
1) I went to Sentosa twice this month(9,17) with churchies from TMC.

It was fun. In fact, it's always a good day well spent whenever i'm with these people. (: On the 18th, I was there with Grace, Claudi, Jacelyn, Audrey, Walter, Mark, Caleb and Mingxuan. We played Volleyball, got bored of chatting, so we travelled down to Plaza Singapura to watch 'Ah Boys To Men'. It's a very funny film, but story-wise wasn't as interesting... I asked one of the most embarrassing and awkward question during the movie about the CB leaf which, I don't think I want to elaborate on. I got tanned pretty badly. :/

The following week was still the same group of us + Jiaeenn, Ruth and Caleb's Korean friend. Still, Volleyball, chatting and then we went to play Pool. (: This time round, I was double-tanned. My skin was still peeling from the previous week and there's no sign of stopping at all. I feel like i'm getting skin cancer. Sigh. ):



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2) Prom
I wasn't even the least excited for Prom and I wonder why. Something that i've been looking forward to since Lower Secondary and it doesn't even excite me... ?!! I contemplated wearing a tude dress or the one with lace at the back and extension at the end of the dress. My tan lines and peelings from the previous trip to Sentosa kinda screwed up my decisions. My back and shoulders would look horrible if I were to put on the Tube dress, so I had no choice but to wear the other dress. ):

As we stepped into the Ballroom, they started playing the March. The March is like a anthem that gathers the entire school for assembly every morning. Then I looked around, everyone were talking about how each other looked so different that night. I really miss my cohort. :') Took photos with my Favourite group of people. ^^



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3) I have started work since 22 November and to speak the truth, my job is a bore. Because i'm working at Armani Junior Paragon, it's a High-end brand. So the only people that would buy clothes would be the wealthy parents and tourists. But they are so limited which makes this job kinda boring. ): On the bright side, I'm earning about $50 a day.

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4) JengaMan Chalet
Booked a room for 3 days 2 nights at Goldkist Beach Resort with Gladys, Gracia, Brandon, Benedict, Nicholas, Whitman, Yanghowe, Kym, Eleanne, Crystal, Vanessa and Peisi. It was prety troublesome for me because I could only join them after work at night and am to leave early in the morning for work again. :/ Midnight was fun though, we kept laughing and I always ended up falling off the bed from laughing too hard or if someone jumps on the bed LOL.

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5) I finally got my hands on Taylor Swift's latest album- RED.
I was so hooked onto RED. I initially didn't really approve of this album, but as I searched the web for the lyrics to Every song, I realised how vulnerable this girl who wrote this entire album actually is. The lyrics were so beautiful and tune-wise, matches every song that was created, the mood and everything. I fell in love with RED.

"I ALMOST DO" is part of RED. And as I was listening to all the songs, this song surfaced. It hit me and then I just left it on replay whenever i'm on my ipod. If it doesn't bother you, spare this song 4 minutes.


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6. Also purchased One Direction's TAKE ME HOME. But I would honestly say that Take Me Home wasn't as fantastic as Up All Night. I still listened to it anyway.

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7. Ongsters leaving for Eastern Europe, Finland.
So, if you know me well enough, I really love the UK and if i get the chance in future, i might want to migrate there with my family. (: Here's the thing, knowing that I want to go to the UK very badly, Gladys' was kind enough to tell me about them planning about the trip and then executing it a few weeks later. I was soooooo envious of her family. ): They've been there for about 10 days now and even took a cruise to another city and back omg. Jellyyyyyy~~

333; Hoping for the Best.

Tomorrow's the beginning of O levels already. Time passes so fast, it was way beyond I had imagined. I wouldn't deny that I've indeed been wasting hell lots of time away. And now that there's no more time to lose, I really regret not cherishing all the time I had. All I can do now is do my daily revision and... hope for the best...

332; Baccalaureate Service

Today was the day where we were officially dismissed from PL. Typically, we just spammed many pictures throughout the day, which I thought was pretty foolish since we are still gonna meet each other in the Following Monday and for the alternate days to come... Baccalaureate Service  I'm really sure God was there. I felt that he was speaking to me in every way possible. To ensure m Nov 12, 2012 e that I CAN DO IT.

331; Get out your guns, battle begun.

So, its only about 30 days away from the Major Examinations. I still feel myself slacking my ass off, hardly accomplishing any revisions. Idk if I'm even stress or not. Just last week, my period came unexpectedly late, I was down with Fever, I had many pimples, I had random back/neck/shoulder aches.

So much for having friends that swore to be by your side in whatever circumstances you're going through. I guess, I'm the only one that would actually make that promise and believe in it. Cause no one else will do that for you. No one, would sacrifice time and their attention for you. Lately, I've been trying to control my emotions. But they'd never let me handle it myself. I fail to express my emotions well, every little detail that my clique members say actually annoyed me so bad. I really feel that I'm the ONLY ONE going through this period of stress alone. Yes, everyone else is going through it, but they have friends. And then there's just, Me.

Today, I've made up my mind. I'll leave everyone. I'm sure I can handle it all by myself. Afterall, whatever I want to convey to my friends always get across without any response. There's no point in putting my trust in them anymore, is there?

330; It's merely a stepping stone.

Took SS and Literature Preliminary 2 papers today. It wasn't too bad. The 3 themes that I revised the night before were the exact themes that came out for SS paper today. But I was studying halh-heartedly so... :/ I didn't do much revision for my Lit too. Was still glad that I managed to spit out all the information of Tee trying to fit into society but she was stuck at a 'no-man's land.' I pretty much screwed up my prose extract though. TIME MANAGEMENT HAD BETTER BE IMPROVED DUDE. Sigh.

Additionally, it was the day to RELEASE OF O LEVELS MT RESULTS. Sometimes I just don't get myself. Honestly, I mugged reallllllyyyyyyy hard for Chinese and it was a insane period of time. My aim was to get an A2. However, "There's the right and wrong side of life" (CCM). So my final result was an...

Overall B3, with a Merit for Oral.

What can I say? It was below my expectations... I'm glad that I got at least a B3, but I'm not satisfied... Oh well, in ALL circumstances, THANK and PRAISE GOD. ALL GLORY TO GOD and my dedicated(not really) teachers. AND MY HARD WORK PUT IN. :>

Nonetheless, you see those 2 pictures up there? It's in London. ONE DAY I'LL BE THERE ONCE MORE.

As of today, it would be 65 days to O levels.

329; Officially 89 Days to the Big 'O's.

It's been a while since I turned on the computer. I was trying to instill discipline in myself. And yes, I can proudly say that I can live life without the computer now. I totally abandoned Facebook and tweet less now. My Social activities are really depleting like never before, and that's sad. ):

So, I got back my Prelims 1 results last week. It wasn't fantastic. In fact, with those results, it can bring me to nowhere. I'm partially drowned in misery. I'm sick and tired of the same routine everyday. After I return from school, (I'll take naps if i'm reaaaaalllly exhausted), I just study and study. My life revolves around studying now. Memorising stuff that I might just forget at the end of the week. For the fact that all my friends are doing so well, at least, much better than me, I get so pressurized all the time. And sometimes, my mum just likes to add on to my depression which makes frustration at its maximum.

For now, I just need to continue persevering on and finish the race for God. At the end of the day, it'll be me who benefits all these. It's just 23 days to Prelims 2. I'll have to strive to at least pass Everything, and then steadily conquering O Levels. I will not live in regrets.

On the other hand, I've been getting weird dreams. Things that I never really thought about but all of it appeared while I was sleeping. I dreamt of the exhilaration and joy plastered on my face when I receive my O level results. I dreamt of what crazy things my friends and I would do everyday. And even, you. Thrice to be exact.

328; Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom.

Thank God for #FREEDOM2012. This retreat was indeed a time for me to rest and to be Spiritually revived, to leave everything behind and to cast all my burdens unto him. "LET GO, LET GOD." I really wonder i'd be like without God.

And of course, there would be time of fun and bonding with everyone else; just that it's Less Games, and More of God. I made more friends and also managed to reunite with my friends from #CODERED2011. I was placed into a group (BLACK WIDOW) with people I didn't feel comfortable with at first. (Nigel, Timothy, Ernest, Min Ru, Joy, Clara, Jia Hui, Agnes, Mee Fong) I found them... weird. Who knows, my groupmates that I spent with for 3 days 2 nights turned out to be similar to what I had experienced with last year.

COWMMANDOS: "Initially, i thought that my group was so quiet and no one bothers to give their comments. Then slowly i realised that everyone actually plays a very important role as a group member, giving and contributing in their small, different ways." And true enough, BLACK WIDOW was similar. Maybe it just happens in every group... We started off with Amazing Race and I would honestly confess that I'd preferred last year's "obstacles."

This year, it was Pastor Jasper who preached to us. He told us about his life experiences and how God pulled him out of the abyss he was caught up in for many years. In fact, I was inspired by how a person he has changed and how strong he still can be despite all those sins. He was there, to make sure that whatever he tells us, is so that we do not fall into the same pit as he did.

Hebrews 10:17
Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

Galatians 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

These 3 songs were sang on the final night; Fire Fall Down, You Are Here(The Same Power), I Am Free. It feels like they're songs written to represent my life. I could relate to the lyrics of these songs so powerfully and I just broke down in tears when I heard it. Last year, I felt God and met his all mighty presence. However, it was a entirely different experience this year. I didn't meet God, and I was confused whether it was him or not. I had difficulties breathing, I had to try really hard to control myself. Not much tears, nothing. It was just me resting in his presence.

After all those, it was the Final Night! Somehow, this Youth Retreat Camp seemed like it was only 2 days... (insufficient) And YES! I didn't sleep till the very end.. which is on the Breakfast table...

327; In the end we only regret the chances we didnt take.

Its already the 2nd week of April and what have I been doing? Wasting my time away. Of course, I'm already starting to feel the pressure of O Levels but I don't seem to be doing anything about it. I haven't been studying, I haven't been going to church, I haven't been handing in my homework on time, what am I doing? My laziness is killing me. Looking back, these were my 2012 resolutions, have I fulfilled them at all?

1. 10 points for O Levels and go ACJC!!!
2. I need to grow taller
3. Be punctual for school
4. Tweet less
5. Stop copying homework
6. Refrain from sleeping in class
7. Attend training regularly
8. Solidify my fats into abs
9. Top 50 positions for Nationals Cross Country
10. 10mins for 2.4km

Yup, so far 3 of my goals were satisfied. Nationals are over, I didn't get to participate in it. But at least, I managed to clinch the Top 50 positions for Swift. I really want to have abs, and i'm working hard on my fats. (: 2.4km run is in 2 weeks time. And so far, my training timings was only 13mins. I should train harder. On the other hand, there haven't been any training and my stamina is deteriorating. ):

326; New Year, New Start, New Me.

Since it's a brand new year, i shall set new goals and resolutions.

1. 10 points for O Levels and go ACJC!!!
2. I need to grow taller
3. Be punctual for school

4. Tweet less
5. Stop copying homework
6. Refrain from sleeping in class
7. Attend training regularly
8. Solidify my fats into abs

9. Top 50 positions for Nationals Cross Country
10. 10mins for 2.4km